It’s Thursday evening and for the first time in three days my head doesn’t feel like a jack hammer is going off on top of it. Tuesday I felt a little strange and by mid evening I was suffering badly from a migraine that wiped me on my ass. It was so fast and so bad that I actually threw up along the side of North Avenue beach while all the 7:30 PM beach volleyballers were out and playing…embarrassing? Yes. Quite.

Meghan covered me as I crouched behind a bush and felt sicker than I’ve felt in a while. Not to mention that during the third game I actually fell on my back (tail bone) and REALLY hurt myself, so being bent over was hurting my back while my stomach was a mess.

Meh.

I slept a lot Tuesday night and even slept through my alarm Wednesday morning, then Wednesday evening my tail bone was still hurting and I had been fighting off further badness from migraines all day long. I had the head pain, and I had the aura in my eyes, but fortunately I never lost my vision. That is the worst part I think. Along with the light sensitivity which bothered me all day. I went to bed by 10 last night and woke up feeling a little better but with my head still throbbing. Pisser.

It didn’t get much better until about 1:30 this afternoon while Bethany and I were enjoying some gabby girl time at Pompei on Ohio Street. We got the same meal: caprese salad and an eggplant parm panini…yum! I got a coke (two actually) and Bet ended up getting an oreo milk shake from Potbellies on our walk back.

I realized today how much more positive Bethany is than a lot of people I know. Well, a lot of people I’m surrounded by anyway. I have been thinking a lot about all of my friends and I’m constantly impressed with how wonderful and positive nearly all of them are. I’m so lucky. I’m so so lucky.

The positive energy that surrounds me and comes at me from my friends is quite incredible and I’m sure that if ever there was a way to cure some illness, it would be to surround yourself with my friends and loved ones… How did I get so lucky? I’m not sure, but I’m thankful.

Lately this idea of self healing and such has been heavy on my mind and I ordered a couple books by this semi famous guru named Deepak Chopra who has written several books on topics ranging from metaphysics and healing to yoga to having a better relationship with *god*. I’m very interested in metaphysics and the power we all have to heal ourselves and so I can’t wait to get my books! And what do you know, I look him up online to put a link with his name and it turns out he’s COMING TO CHICAGO THIS MONTH!!! Wow…that seems like *fate*, if’n you ask me!

So anyway, all of this stuff has been on my mind and I keep thinking, in order for major change to happen in ones life, you have to first be willing to accept that changes need to be made, you need to then want to MAKE the changes and then you have to DO IT! This is not easy. Even just recognizing the changes we need to make is hard. We don’t want to have to face the facts that sometimes we might not be as awesome as we think we are, I know I sometimes sure don’t. But I also know that the more open and honest you are with yourself about who you are, your flaws, who you want to become and what you have to do to become that person, I think the better off you are.

I’ve become far more straight forward with myself and those around me the past year…I almost surprise myself. I’m weeding out the bad seeds from my garden daily and feel that the flowers growing in my patch are the best. I feel that I’ve grown so much these past few years and am excited about the continued growth I will experience for the years to come. I love learning, I love changing, I love adapting and becoming a better version of and improving myself that I’m ok with the fact that this “process” will never really end.

Some people don’t want to change. Some people really don’t want to grow. Some people refuse to look inward and reflect on the actions they’ve taken and the consequences of those actions. I’m thankful I’m not one of those people. At first it was hard to look at myself through the mirror clouded with all of my bad decisions, but I’ve been cleaning up that mirror and getting a clearer view of the person I am because of all my decisions. I know I’ve got so much left to do and say and so much to accomplish, but I also feel incredibly confident that it will all happen in and on my time.

And I think that’s cool.

So anyway, I guess this was a really random blog about the thoughts swirling around my post migraine brain and I thought by posting it here I might better sort it out for myself later on. Also, it’s just been a while since I’ve had a “hey there guys, here’s what I’m thinking” post. I think I’m gonna gather up the trash that’s spilling over in the bathroom and kitchen, take it out and enjoy a breezy walk through my kick ass neighborhood. Maybe I’ll stop in Armadillo’s Pillow in hopes of a fun treasure…maybe I’ll ride my bike to the Brown Elephant and see if there isn’t a treasure there…or maybe I’ll just get a steamed milk from Ennui Cafe and enjoy the sunset on the lake.

It’s a good day to be alive in the city of Chicago, and I feel sorry for those that couldn’t see past their own silliness to recognize that.

Hope all is well with my faithful readers!!! I promise more postings from the heart this month!