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“Goodness gracious, what a night.”

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 11:28 pm

Well, I made it through phase two…now onto phases three and four of the thesis monster. It looks like there is one pretty obvious grammatical error in my mag thus far, but nothing so horrendous that I’ll loose too much sleep over. I hope.

Ivan, technological guru and genius friend of mine, saved my white girl ghetto booty yet again with all his technical know-how and a saint like patience by helping put the actual thing together in programs I’ve never used before. InDesign…I WILL learn you and then I’ll smack you around like you’re my bitch! Ya HEAR ME?! Ha. InDesign was smacking ME around like I’m it’s little bitch. DAMN!

Photoshop was also having it’s way with me. DAMN ADOBE AND THEIR AWESOME PROGRAMS! They are so wonderful and powerful if you know the language to unlock their goodness, but if you don’t speak the language, don’t know the symbols or what you want to do is actually called, then it’s a real pain in the ass to work in their programs. I know, I’ve been struggling with them for weeks now.

I do know them better now, but not well enough, not at all. This summer I hope to learn more however. I like the idea of what I’m working on and want to continue it, but definitely need to be able to do this sort of thing without the help of my dearest friend. He needs a BREAK from MY SCHOOLING! lol. Sad…but true.

In fact, ALL of my friends and family need a break from my schooling. It’s amazing I still HAVE friends to be honest. I mean, I have lost some, that’s become increadibly obvious lately, but those that were true to begin with (or at least who cared about me as much as I cared about them) are still in my life and happily waiting for me to be done with the madness that is my MFA and to get back to living again.

Ah…living. Watching tv without guilt. Going out on a Thursday night. Hanging out with my friends. Spending time with that someone special. Spending time with my little babies! So far in this process I’ve definitely lost two solid friends I can think of immediately and I’ve successfully killed four plants I had for over 6 years each. [sarcastically claps to self] Well Done Devin. *sigh*

But I will be emerging from this program and experience with some incredible gifts and knowledge. I’m so much stronger now than I was before all of this happened. I appreciate that.

But right now, more than anything, I appreciate those friends of mine who have really stuck by me through this process. Those people who were there for me, not just in my times of need, but in times of joy and also in times of their need. I have a long list of people I need to thank, but for starters I have to list a few people who have been hearing me bitch, cry, moan, complain, doubt, suffer, rejoice and dream the most. Of course I’m going to mention Ivan. He’s been up with me these past several nights (weeks) putting in full days at work, freelancing on top of that and then helping me into the wee hours of the morning on the actual set up of my project. Amanda is someone I work with and someone I just really enjoy the company of. She reminds me of my older sister for so many reasons which totally rocks. She’s also listened to me stress like few others, and despite that has remained enthusiastic and incredibly helpful in the production of my magazine. She and Ehren have both been doing heavy editing on my work which has saved me from myself countless times. THANK GOD FOR SMART EDITORS!!! Haley is also someone who needs to be mentioned. No matter how much was on her plate, how much she was doing, even if she couldn’t actually help me with something, she always responded to my emails, texts and phone calls. That’s kind of a big deal as I’ve learned these past few months that it’s a huge pet peeve of mine when people do even respond with a “hey, I got your message, sorry I can’t write more…” Just urks the hell out of me. If I ever do that to you, please let me know. Remind me. Say, “Hey bitch, why didn’t you respond within a couple hours of receiving my message?!”

Finally I gotta mention two more peeps…my sister Terra who has been so unbelievably supportive it makes me tear up. Whenever I was flipping out about not being good enough to smart enough or if I would graduate or not, she would jump right in with “YOU ARE THE BEST DEVIAN!” and you know what? I really think she means it. And that has meant sooooo much to me. Because when I can’t believe it myself, it saves me from total doubt when those most important to me believe it for me. And last but not least would be my special someone. Man oh man. The madness he’s been put through with me. I know he hasn’t bolted for the door simply because he’s known me for years and obviously that’s long enough to know that my recent behavoir is not my norm. But seriously….how many times have I just gotten silly about the dumbest possible things? Too many lately. I have someone who supports me in any way he can and does so without complaints. He believes in me even if he doesn’t fully understand what I’m trying to do or trying to say. He’s honest. He’s committed. He makes me laugh and when I need it, he gives me the best hugs.

If you know me, you know I’m not little miss hugs. But from certain people, a hug is just what I need. Thanks baby…you’ve been awesome throughout this process. I know you can’t wait for me to be done with this program and have my life get back to “normal” so you can have your “normal” less stressed out and overly goofy girlfriend back. Soooooon right? In the mean while, I’m gonna continue to beat this bitch and GET ‘ER DONE!

Anyway…the list of those to thank is long…but I had to mention the few who have really helped me out the most (and by the most I mean like woah crazy amounts of help, love and support). Ya’ll rock and I look forward to giving back to everyone just what they have given to me and more.

Post card for the show coming tomorrow: in the meanwhile, *the date* is: April 23rd @5PM at 1104  S Wabash, 2nd floor – keep that in mind.

THESIS MOTHA FUCKING SHOW OPENS!!!! Be there, or be s q u a r e !

YAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

By next Friday, I’ll be a very very VERY happy camper! WOOT!

Ciao!

Posted in art, just 'cause, life, my friends are talented, personal, thesis | 1 Comment »

Whataya Want From Me?

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 5:56 pm

A few things:

  • Thesis is starting to get finished up. Install for the show happens over this weekend into the beginning of next week. I’m almost there…I can see the light at the end of this tunnel…I think.
  • I heard this Adam Lambert song a month or so back, when things are school just REALLY started to come to a head. I felt it was sooooo appropriate for how I was feeling. It became my secret anthem (because yeah, I was sort of ashamed to admit that I liked an Adam Lambert song or that I might possibly be this anxty).
  • TK told me to watch the video after finally hearing the song I had been talking about as my song – just watched it, and yeah, gonna have to just suck it up and admit that Adam Lambert is pretty damn hot. He’s a man, who looks like a woman, and screams when he sings, he he’s a man, but I know he’s gay so he’s an even cooler man because he’s got style…so yeah, Adam Lambert = hot sex in my book right now and if he were a woman or a straight man, I’d totally get with that! lol.
  • This song is soooooo what I sometimes want to say to the “powers that be” in my program. That and I wanna flick ‘em off. And, I’d like to tell a few people to stuff it where the sun don’t shine while I’m at it. Of course, I’ll never get this opportunity in real life so I am reduced to either hold it in or blog about. Clearly, I’m choosing the latter…

Anyway…thesis…yeah…that motha fucka of a project is FINALLY coming to fruition. Tomorrow the mag is OUT OF MY HANDS and I move onto other finer details of the installation space. Big space to fill…down some items I was going to use to fill it, what’s a gal to do? Speaking of install…who wants to help me install this weekend? Saturday? Sunday? Anyone? Someone? Hit me with a message if you’re available cause I could really use the help! THANK YOU!

Details on the thesis show will be posted tomorrow most likely…when I actually make my promo postcard. Ha, so behind on that…oops! Maybe it’s because I WASN’T SURE I WAS GRADUATING THIS FREAKING YEAR…ugh…loooooong story that ya’ll can expect to see the light of day in some creative way in the damn f’ing near future. Oh man…the characters I’ve met these past few years…yes, I will NOT go easy on you jerk faces. Not. One. BIT! I’ll show you the same “curusies” you’ve shown me. :) Ah…sweetness.

I know I sound grumpy, and I kinda am, I’m burned, I’m soured, and I’m plain tired from only getting about 2 hours of sleep each night these past few days. But truthfully, I’m excited about my project and where it’s taking me and where it’s going especially when I’m free of the bondage that has been grad school and the hierarchy that exists in before mentioned institution. THANK GOD FOR FREEDOM! So yeah…it’s all good, especially once I walk across that stage and get my diploma and drink my sorrows away while dancing and laughing and chatting it up with my friends. YEP! GOOD TIMES ARE AROUND THE CORNER…I can almost taste them!

Anyway…for your viewing pleasure; feast your eyes on the oddly feminine looking Lambert and his deliciously anxty song. This is dedicated to all the people in my program who clearly were not listening to what I said I was aiming to do and going to do when I initially pitched my thesis project. To you I ask, whataya want from me followed with a timeless, SUCK IT NERDS!

Thank you. ;)

Posted in art, commentary, food for thought, just 'cause, life, music, personal, thesis, works in progress | No Comments »

beacuse it’s an important message and it’s beautifully shot.

Sunday, April 11th, 2010 1:47 pm

Posted in just 'cause, life, video | 1 Comment »

And I’m still M.I.A…

Friday, March 12th, 2010 6:37 pm

I’m still madly (more like frantically) working on my thesis project. It’s getting there, but I’m not really close enough to done yet to relax. The work itself will continue well on into the summer even once I’m technically done with school, but by that point the first phase (the thesis installation and initial book) will be done and I’ll be able to work on this at my own pace without others putting their 22 cents in about the work and messing with my head! lol.

Really, I just wanna be creating and doing my own thing, no longer listening to ANYONE and just plain experimenting, experiencing, learning, growing, messing up, making happy accidents and producing my own work without any regard to what anyone else thinks! I don’t want to worry about a show, selling my work or making money off the work, I just want to be able to breathe again, be normal again, stop being such an emotionally goofy girl and give my man a break from dealing with the sensitive silly I’ve become during this process. I’m close. Very close. And once I’ve got the thesis part of it done, and can start to breath, sleep, eat, exercise and LIVE again, I’ll start to get back to where I was a few months ago – totally happy with myself, my life and my situation and in absolute creative peace. I’ll be able to laugh again without feeling guilty for enjoying a free moment when I should be working on something. OH MAN. It will be great.

In the mean while, I’m finally starting to gain some real momentum. Hopefully this will get me through to the end of this phase of the project and I’ll continue to love and grow with it. And at least I can say that I’m starting to collaborate with some really talented and creative people that I look forward to working more with under less pressure and with more time. WOO HOO. SUMMER, you beautiful bitch, you’re so almost here!!!

Anywaaaaay, in those few moments I steal for myself or take to prep for the day at hand I find myself listening to music to help pump me up, psych me into and get ready for the photo shoots I’m doing for my thesis project.

Marathon season (and thus training) is also almost upon us and often times I find the music I use to pump myself up for a photo shoot is the same I might use for a tempo run or a race.

It got me thinking that I should share that music with you all from time to time. So here is the first of the songs I’m obsessively listening to on repeat. I have been listening to it for months and I just don’t get sick of it! It’s got a GREAT beat, great bass, great keys, synth…it’s got it all. Oh yeah, and lyrics? Totally rock.

Sweet Disposition
by Temper Trap
Please, to enjoy…

Posted in art, just 'cause, life, music, thesis, video | No Comments »

Snail mail and why it rocks!

Monday, December 7th, 2009 11:10 pm
everybody loves to recieve letters in the mail...here are 4 b-day cards I got all in one day!

everybody loves to recieve letters in the mail...here are 4 b-day cards I got all in one day!

You know, I’m one of those lucky people that has not one, not two but at least THREE wonderful close friends in my life who send me SNAIL MAIL. That’s right, the actual kind of mail you must go and get stamps for and hand off to a US Postal services person to be hand delivered to your door step. Yeah, totally awesome!

So I must address these three wonderful and amazing people (especially since they might be three of the six people I know actually READ this blog, ha ha). Ivan, you’ve been sending me snail mail the longest – I’ve got boxes full of hand written love from you. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING IT UP ALL THESE YEARS!!! Hillary, lady, you and the pen make magic happen on paper. Your words flow like honey from the comb – sweetly and liberally. I LOVE all the postcards and letters you’ve sent to me from various parts of the world over the past few years we’ve known each other!!! And last but not least to Lindy, my newest friend and incredible spirit – you have sent me more letters in recent months than any bill collector has – WHAT A GIFT!!! You’ve sent me inspirational reminders, overwhelming love and support and super girlie goodies that make me smile from ear to ear!! I love and appreciate that you each (and the others of you so kind to send the occasional written correspondence) have taken the time out of your days to send me something special.

It really IS something special to open up your mail box and find something intended only for you in there! And recently I have RECEIVED SO MUCH LOVE IN MY MAILBOX!!!

I don’t know HOW I missed it, but there was a box waiting for me downstairs towards the end of last week. Inside I found the LOVELIEST GREEN SCARF, hand picked for me, by my dear friend Lindy!!! OH HOW I LOVE THIS SCARF!!! Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!

Then today, after picking up a package of goodies from FedEx (items I had ordered for a current project) I discovered FOUR cards in the mail for me for my birthday. THANK YOU IVAN! I never ever would have expected a paper pickle in the mail – but there it was, and it made me laugh!

It’s such a time consuming thing to hand write out a letter. In fact, in the past, when I HAVE sent snail mail, there were a few times I typed it up on the computer and then printed it out to send. There were always a few good reasons for this I thought. One, I am a horrible speller and I didn’t want it to have glaring mistakes throughout the letter. Two, my hand writing isn’t amazing. It’s not bad, it’s definitely legible, but it tends to change between three different styles of type by the time I’m done with two pages of text. Weird. Three, I just haven’t been good about making the TIME to send out letters as I should. I know how much I love them and am sure everyone else would love them just the same, yet I don’t send them. WHAT GIVES? Laziness be damned, those cards I’ve gotten with certain people in mind GO OUT THIS WEEK DAMMIT!

Anyway, all this makes me think about the whole idea of correspondence and how we all communicate today with one another. Electronic communications have become such a HUGE part of society, the old fashioned ways of communication have almost gone the way of the Dodo bird! Between phones, text messages, online chat rooms, message boards, blogs, facebook and twitter – we’re all so socially and electronically connected that we get bits and pieces here and there and think we’ve got the whole story, when really, with someone like me, you haven’t heard ANYTHING yet…well, ok, I DO facebook a lot, but still, I only offer up vague inclinations to what I’m thinking about. My status updates could be interpreted a hundred different ways depending on how much of my life you are really privy to.

And I find it almost a little bit sad in a way. I LOVE facebook, don’t get me wrong, it’s my constant friend and companion that keeps me sane sometimes when silly little things would like to do otherwise, but it’s also made me even more lazy about reaching out to those people I haven’t been in touch with as often as I’d like. I used to pick up the phone and call people at least. I’d send more emails, and yes, I even sent a few more cards and letters. I think while things like facebook and twitter DO connect us with those we have completely fallen out of touch with, they also keep things at this weird “status update” or 140 character count level, and no more.  They offer us a glimpse into something, but never really reveal much beyond that taste or snippet.

And they certainly do not offer the intimacy and special feeling provided by sending someone a personalized letter. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t open up my facebook homepage and get all twitterpated (sorry, had to) at the site of an “inbox message” or “wall comment”; at least not the same way I would from finding a handwritten letter addressed to me.

After this week of amazing treats in the mail, I think it imperative I do not further add to the loss of such a wonderful tradition and method of correspondence. I vow to send at least one card or letter to SOMEONE every two weeks. It’s a start at least. Once I ease into that, I’ll try to make it at least one handwritten item sent to someone once every week. I’ll do my part to keep the US Postal Service in business, and more importantly, to give the love and smile back to my wonderful friends and family who so generously keep me in mind when they think to send some love through the mail.

After all, isn’t giving back the only real way one can become open enough to truly receive the gifts life has to offer? I’m just sorry I haven’t been better about my correspondences these past few years; everyone I know deserves better than what I’ve sent out.

Again, I must reiterate thanks to my lovely friends who have (and continue to) send me real tangible letters…it absolutely makes my day to receive them!

Happy (hand)writing everyone!
Devin

Posted in birthdays, just 'cause, life, personal, the written word | No Comments »

The Pioneer Woman, aka, Why We Blog, aka, My Man Rocks!

Thursday, November 19th, 2009 11:23 pm

Ever have those moments when everything around you is chaos and turmoil and it’s all swirling around your head in slow motion, trying to creep in on you and bring you down, or at least seriously freak you out? Well, it seems that sort of thing is happening to me a lot these days. To EVERYONE these days, right?

People are loosing their jobs left and right, or are unable to find them to begin with! Everyone is having big time financial struggles (my bank account just shocked the sh*t out of me yesterday when something posted to my account I wasn’t expecting and BAM, where did all my money go?! – suck)! School is just KILLING ME slowly and painfully, and I think some of my teachers are enjoying watching this painful death process (maybe they aren’t, who knows really…). My kitty and what ever it is that ails her…all these things add up and take their toll. It’s very hard in times like these to stay focused and more importantly, positive.

I fight to remain positive every day. I think these days I’ve been luckier than previous days in the positive arena. There are definite reasons for that, but perhaps we’ll get to them later… One thing I do to remain positive is think about all of my role models…all of the people I look up to, the people I respect and those people that I think really handle stress and difficult times not only well, but the way I think I’d like to see myself handling it all.

I think Ree Drummond, author of one of my favorite blogs (The Pioneer Woman) and (bound to be) favorite cookbooks is one of those people. Tonight I went to her cookbook signing (which is a New York Times No. 1 best seller by the by) and was just in awe at how amazingly down to earth she is. This woman is smart, beautiful, talented, genuine, real and approachable. She’s also married to perhaps one of the most dashingly handsome men I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet – true story. She appears to have it all, a truly charmed life. But let’s be real, she isn’t going to really write about all the BAD stuff, which, being that she’s human and all, I’m SURE she experiences as well. Somehow, she always shares stories that enlighten and lift the spirits. She makes us laugh, she makes us tear up (but in a good way) and she always tells us what’s in her heart. No phony lies or anything, just what she’s thinking about.  If you don’t believe me, have a look at her blog (I encourage you to do so anyway…)

When she was doing the Q&A portion of the book signing, she was just SO REAL. Someone asked her about her seemingly charmed life and marriage – if it was the perfect marriage. She responded, “There is no perfect marriage, but my husband is perfect for me…”. She went on to say how she just tries to focus on all the good things and treasure that in her partnership, and apparently he does the same. And ya know, it seems pretty obvious, but we don’t always do that do we? I think one thing she really highlighted for me was that not only is she thankful for all that she has, but she lets those in her life KNOW that she is thankful for them, and everything else.

I don’t think I do that enough. I’m going to work on that.

Anyway…she’s great and hearing her talk in real life was an awesome experience. I feel full of joy, excitement and encouragement to really go out there and make my dreams happen (which is what she did…really, you should read her story!!!)

Sooo…I picked up a few books tonight. Yes, I got one for myself. It’s a goodie already, can’t wait to try out the recipes in there!!! I also shared with her a snippet about my girlie B who couldn’t be there tonight. B introduced me to Pioneer Woman (thanks friend!). I also got to meet the Marlboro Man. Oh. My. Goodness.

Clearly I had seen photos of this man on her blog, but photos do his eyes no justice. They are as blue as the big skies down south. Wow. And you know what? You can just SEE this man is a GOOD MAN. What an INCREDIBLY attractive couple. Seriously. I strive to have a partnership like theirs (I’m not talking physical looks-wise, I’m talking about the real stuff)…one of mutual respect, generosity, forgiveness, understanding, honesty, laughter and love. Booya! These people are a great example of harmony in a partnership. And both were equally friendly and sincere. He even signed all my books under a picture that Ree had taken of him and put in the cookbook – super super cool.

The whole experience was great. My sis came with me to the signing (she was a newbie to this sort of thing) and I met some lovely people while waiting for it all to begin. It was neat to hear the stories of how people found Ree and where they had come from. Very cool. I had forgotten my camera (shame on me!) and Meg forgot hers so I relied on the kindness of two strangers to take my pictures with Ree and send me the files through email. I think I’ll be getting them in a couple days, at which point I’ll share them here. WOO HOO!

K…so enough about Ree, let’s talk about blogging…why do I do it?

I do it because I love to. In my mind, I believe that is reason enough. I do it because it’s a way for me to share thoughts and experiences with people I know (and more that I don’t) that I would otherwise be unable to easily share. It’s a journal for the world to potentially see, and why that scares me a bit (thus me leaving out the very deep personal stuff a lot of the time) it also helps keep ME real. Word.

So I blog because I love to, I blog because I can and I blog because I know that there are at least a couple of you out there that read this and so this is also for you. You all keep me posting, and posting helps to remind me of how lucky I am and being reminded of that keeps me smiling. Thank you for that, by the way. YOU are 50% of the reason why I’m on here!!

Blogging is such a strange thing. It can be as personal or as sterile as the author chooses to make it. We can be as honest or deceitful as we choose to be. For me, I’ve chosen to really try and document things the way I’ve seen and felt them. I try to tell the story as honestly as I can. And I think I share a LOT of the story…with the exception of the “romantic relationships” part.

Why everything else and not that? Well, ya know, if you look back to the beginning of this blog, I definitely talk about a certain someone who is very certainly NOT a someone in my life anymore…and it’s kind of embarrassing to think about how I just put it all out there for the world to know, and then it just blew up in my face. Such a *young* thing to do. I quickly learned from that mistake – not to name specifics like that again, ever! Or at least that was my initial response. But then I made an amendment; once I’m married, I can talk about the significant other, till then, bite my tongue.

Well, clearly I can’t COMPLETELY bite my tongue…I’ve definitely alluded from time to time about there being SOMEONE…when there was someone…if there was someone. Recently and for a while, there was a lot of NO ONES, NO WAYS, NO HOWS! I didn’t want anything to do with a romantic relationships and I just kinda wanted to be a hermit. I spent a lot of time being VERY selfish and really focusing on me and making MY life better – solo.

Best thing I could have done. I’m so much better off NOW than I was even 7 months ago. I can tell you, I am honestly happy. I am just as happy with myself as I used to be when I was in a relationship. In fact, that’s wrong, I’m HAPPIER than I was back in the day, especially the past most recent years. I love my life. I love my friends. I love who I am becoming and I love this feeling of love. Self supplied, self regulated and self controlled. AWESOME!!

I feel like such a lucky girl spiritually, and also in the world of relationships. I’m surrounded by incredible people. I’m inspired daily by my friends and family. And lately I’ve had the good fortune to spend some time with a person that has really taught me a lot about what it’s like to be around someone you really can trust.

Boys and girls, men and women, gentlemen and ladies – this IS the key; trust. At least it’s one of the keys. I think communication is key too. And laughter. And respect. And love.

I feel like I’ve got a few of those keys on my ring right now. And it feels good. It feels solid…

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know what today brought me. I met a couple that I admire, a women I strive to be more like, a family like one I hope to be a part of someday, a warm hug, a genuine heart flutter, a twinkle in my eye, some much needed messages from rogue friends who had gone M.I.A., time with my younger sister, time for self reflection, an unexpected and utterly undeniable act of sweetness, a necessary reminder, a box of goodies in the mail, a signed book from an author I love, some sunshine, another day with Sasha and so much more.

When I think about all the little things, I feel like the most blessed individual in the world. And ya know, I’ve got MAJOR issues in my world too…but instead of focusing on that which I have little control, I’m focusing on all the positives that keep me motivated to create change and possibility in my world. I’m focusing on love. I’m focusing on laughter. I’m focusing on blogging and sharing this journey. I’m focusing on you, and I’m focusing on me. The sh*t will continue to hit the fan, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be armored with an umbrella of positive thinking mixed with a little hope right? Right!

Thank you all for sticking by me in my hiatis from this blog. Thank you for sharing my journey. Thank you for listening to me journal, rant and praise. Like I said, you are half he reason why I do this…you help me do something I love. :)

I hope your world is full of wonder and joy. And even if times seem impossibly difficult for you right now, I encourage you to try to find that one glimmer of light, whatever that may be. You know it’s gotta be there somewhere – create the change in your happiness by finding what that little glimmer is and focusing on it till you come across another.

WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!!! “Just keep swimming…”

Love and hugs (all hippie like and everything!)
Devin

Ree Drummond (The Pioneer Woman) and me. I'm telling the poor woman a story, what a surprise, right?

Ree Drummond (The Pioneer Woman) and me. I'm telling the poor woman a story, what a surprise, right?

Posted in food for thought, grateful for..., just 'cause, life, personal, the written word | No Comments »

Jessica Simpson’s hair extensions…

Thursday, November 19th, 2009 12:10 am

Yeah…I tried ‘em out. And yeah, they work pretty well once you figure out how to use them.

I’ll post a REAL picture on here soon, but in the meanwhile, this was a quick second try with the extensions and I took the photo on my dying camera phone. But at least you can get an idea of how they look on! Can’t wait for my hair to grow out now!!!

my hair w/ 23" wavy hair extensions from J Simpson and Ken Pave's line

my hair w/ 23" wavy hair extensions from J Simpson and Ken Pave's line

Posted in just 'cause, personal | No Comments »

working hard, or hardly working?

Thursday, November 19th, 2009 12:07 am

Isn’t that always the question? Well, no, it isn’t actually, that was kind of a silly thing for me to ask. I apologize. ANYway…

Things have been busy people. Per usual right? I feel a little tiny bit disheartened right now and instead of wallowing in my tough of disheartenment, I thought I should get on here and update this here blog! No more feeling sorry for myself or what have you. POST! UPDATE! FILL THE PEOPLE IN!!!

So tonight I took a small break. In that break (that became a touch larger than small) I watched Swing Vote. I’d been excited about it when it came out in the theatre, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t do to well. I watched it online with netflix. Know what? I LIKED it! I thought it was great. I thought it brought up a LOT of good points. A lot of points that are really important RIGHT NOW.

Like how one persons vote, can and DOES make a difference! We are seeing just how much power the “popular vote” is getting right now, and if that isn’t proof enough of how important it is to stand up for what you believe in by voting on the issues, I don’t know what else is.

So yeah, Swing Vote. It was oozing with sentimentality and I loved every single drop of it! It made me smile, it made me tear up, it made me angry and happy…if you haven’t seen it, give it a go. It’s kind of one of those feel good American movies…kind of.

So what else…well, Sasha has been heavy on my mind. She’s still not doing very well. Not very well at all. I’ll be honest here, it’s breaking my heart a little. Recently, her mood has changed…she’s still eating (a little) and she isn’t hiding from me yet, but there is something in my heart/stomach that keeps warning me that I might not have much more time left with my baby. And that just kills me a little more every single minute of every day. Right now I’ve got her curled up on my lap as I type this and I think, what happens when there is no more Sasha to curl up on my lap when I update my blog?

It’s not a pretty or happy thought. She’s my little baby, I love her so. 5 1/2 years ago she came into my life, forever altering it (for the better) and I’m thankful for every moment I’ve had with her thus far. I continue to hope that I have much more time with her than I fear and that I’m just being silly thinking otherwise.

However, if you’re the praying type, I don’t think anyoone would be upset if you offered some up for my little pumpkin.

What else, what else? Well, things have been kinda weird and stressful for all my friends and family lately. My great aunt lost her step-son in the Fort Hood shootings, true tragedy. She’s absolutely heart sick about it (as we all are…) A few more people I know have lost their jobs. People are breaking up left and right around me… Last week they left 24 hours off my paycheck which was quite unnerving… And much more…

But it’s not ALL doom and gloom, man, listen to me! There has also been some great happiness too!!! I met some really great people last night at another friends birthday dinner! I picked up a fun hair piece that gives me long lovely locks that look pretty natural! Sasha IS still alive and wish us!!! I have incredible friends! School is steadily moving along… AND, today I actually got excited about my birthday!! I hadn’t really thought too much about it (I think once ya hit 30 there’s no major markers till 35 and 40 or so right?) but today I was sort of working out the details of what my special day will be and I really got excited about it. It will be a birthday like none I’ve had in a very long while! Just me and a sweetie for dinner and down time…oh yes, and a night cap (or three). Sounds absolutely perfect, and I cannot wait!

In the meanwhile, I’ve got Thanksgiving to look forward to, A Turkey Trot to run, an art grant to write, a volleyball game to win, some snuggles to be shared, hang out time with one of my besties, catch up time with others, holiday gifts to make and finish, holiday cards to write and send out and so much more, it’s hard to list it all out!

I also have NEW MOON to look forward to, and Pirate Radio…and Precious! GREAT MOVIES TO WATCH (finally) and of course holiday standbys to get excited about like Pieces of April, A Christmas Story and Love Actually!!! Oh, I’m quite excited about this holiday season too. I’m really sure why, but I am. It will be a good one, I just know it. Can’t wait to pick up my little tree and decorate it! OH YAY FOR HOLIDAY CHEER!!!

Sorry this post is kinda boring and lame. Didn’t know what to write about, but wanted to get on here and post SOMETHING.

Hope everyone out there is better than well. Remeber that today is a gift and try to treat it as such. Love thy neighbor, and LOVE THY SELF!!!

Cheers,
Devin

Posted in animals, birthdays, film, food for thought, grateful for..., just 'cause, life, personal, politic'n | No Comments »

Where the Streets Have No Names

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 12:44 am

Ivan sent me a link to this video. It really touched me. It’s my favorite U2 song, written by my favorite band member (The Edge), used during Super Bowl 2002 as a way of honoring those lost during the 9/11 attacks and also to bring this great nation together during one of it’s favorite past times…yeah…just kinda moves me.

I was already a pretty big U2 fan…didn’t adore Bono or anything but dug that he was a real human rights activist and it seemed pretty genuine. But after seeing his show this summer and recognizing him to be someone who uses his fame for GOOD and then seeing how he’s been doing it all along – well you just have to have more respect for the man and the band. Which I do. Already looking forward to next summers show that I was able to score pre-sale tickets for so that Ivan, Terra and I can go see them again…

I love this video and I love this song even more now.

God Bless America. And God Bless the World.

Please, to enjoy…

Posted in commentary, food for thought, just 'cause, life, music, personal, politic'n, sports, tv, video | No Comments »

I’m bAAAaaack!

Saturday, November 7th, 2009 10:14 pm

Well, ya know, kinda…

So, I’ve been away for a while – combo of reasons, but mostly it boiled down to three main things:

  1. the server I was using to host my website BLEW MONKEY CHUNKS and made posting a very challenging and frustrating event which made me not want to get on here much
  2. school work and real work combined have been piling up (I am living, breathing, eating and dreaming nothing but thesis Thesis THESIS!!!) which is understandably consuming most of my life right now
  3. and finally – after I fell of the wagon and was a few posts behind I did a classic move of letting myself feel overwhelmed by how much I needed to “catch up on” which scared me from  actually trying to “catch up”.

Of course other things like Sasha’s sudden blindness (yes, my five year old baby has been diagnosed as being acutely blind), a major thesis presentation I’ve been prepping for weeks for, fighting off a really nasty little cold (and finally winning), running my 6th marathon (Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco), traveling to Parisppany New Jersey and NYC for a long weekend and spending my tiny bit of free time with some of the very special people in my life (not all unfortunately) has ALSO played into my interweb absence. But my friends, (if anyone is even still out there checking up on this site) I am back, and I’m excited to say I should be posting at least a few times a week, if not every day.

It was brought to my attention that since I have become such an EXTREMELY heavy user of the demon commonly known as Facebook, I probably haven’t felt as strong an urge to post the way I previously had been on my blog anymore. At first I thought that was hog wash, but I have come to realize the truth behind that idea. I’m a Facebook junkie, and I post more tiny status updates there which leaves me feeling like I’ve done my “share things about yourself” for the day. I think I just figured no one was really out there reading this anyway that wasn’t already on FB and could see my stuff there. But thinking more about it (and re-reading older posts) I remembered all the fantastic differences with my blog and how I use Facebook. Besides, I spend at least 45 minutes every day reading all the blogs I follow, surely someone out there I don’t even know was reading this and then I just stopped posting. When any of the blogs I follow stop doing that, I get a little bummed out. So I recognized that both the blog and fb can serve different purposes and I really needed to get back on here. Besides, my “posting” on fb is totally different than what I ever say here. There I post things like “Devin Schuyler is feeling groovy” (lame) or “Devin Schuyler is soooo happy it’s almost the weekend; my apartment needs a cleaning!” (which is just as lame as the first). That’s not really me sharing anything of import, but I guess it was enough for a while to fulfill that fix.

But whatever,  I’ve made blogging easier again by having switched to a new hosting company. They are WORLDS better…soon ALL of the sites I own will be with the same company and it will all be SO MUCH BETTER. Woo hoo!

ANYwho…so here I am again, back in action. Now that the thesis presentation is behind me (I believe it went well, but it was all kind of a major blur) I am just focusing on doing the work & research while writing my grant proposal that is due mid December. This alleviates a tiny bit of pressure which has made me feel about ten pounds lighter than I’ve been feeling lately.

So, to update on things past; besides feeling thesis year stress (damn that stress level!!!) I may throw in a bit here or there about major events to go down over the past several weeks. For now I will start with Parsippany, New Jersey.

Oh man…what a crazy place. It’s close to Morristown which is just a real throw back to little towns in upper MD I used to drive through from time to time. My travel companion was attending a signature signing thing…I don’t even know what they call them, but it kinda reminds me of conventions where semi/famous people go and you buy stuff and get signatures and pictures…oh yes…it’s a REAL experience! :)

I didn’t do any of that, I just went down for a moment to check out the peeps that WERE there (both doing the signing and getting sh*t signed). WHAT A CRAZY MIXED UP BUNCH! Most notable famous people I saw where:

  1. The woman who played Elvira – she looks bang’n. WOW…
  2. Linda Blair still riding the fame from The Exorcist. Tight little body – woah – but ya know, face? Not so much…
  3. Tia Carrare (my personal favorite famous person there) who is a TOTAL HOTTIE in real life! She seemed soooo friendly. She’d get right next to a person for a photo, she has the best smile, she was super nice to everyone and just seemed like a genuinely cool person. The offer was made for me to go get my picture with her which was VERY tempting, except that I looked like hell and didn’t want to have that immortalized in a picture with the smoke’n hot Tia. I don’t think that would have done good things for my ego. ha ha
  4. Finally, Richard Dreyfuss was the other big famous guy I remember seeing. He seemed a little, uh, out of it. My travel companion seemed to be pretty sure Richard was D-RUNK from the start. That made me laugh a little. He looked old. He looked like a normal guy, nothing special. I was rather unimpressed actually.
  5. Patrick Stewart was also there, but he is SOOOOOO “special” that he had some private room for signing. WHAT-EVER! Not only that, but it cost $100 to get his sig AND an addition $100 for a freaking photo with the guy. Now, don’t get me wrong…I dug on Capt. Picard as much as the next guy, but really? $100 freaking bucks for an autograph? LAME Mr. Stewart. I call you out sir. L A M E!

Well that’s if for famous people I remember. I was kinda in a daze anyway – sleep deprived and all. But seemed kinda fun, and I could see how one could get into something like this. The BEST part of the whole show though was the little nook all the artist people hung out…like the McFarlane guys and famous poster art people etc. There was this guy there who did animation for the Original Ghostbusters animated series. Yeah – tre cool. He was selling actual stills USED for the tv series for $20 a pop. Freaking cool. He had slimmer which was nifty, but for me, Egon was totally where it was at. Yeah…I remembered that show. Met and talked with the guy who did the work. SUPER cool…my geekness was totally coming out. I LOVE talking shop with these guys – probably could have pulled up a chair and chatted all night with them if it would have been acceptable to do so. The same artist also had some WICKED original Jack Skellington paintings that he did. The one I was totally in love with tho he had already sold and only had a reprint of. SOOOOO cool. They looked really nice. Big big fan. This guy was so cool, it’s a real shame I can’t recall his name right now…

Anyway, the next day (Saturday) it had been my plan to get up and go INTO the city (NYC) and troll around till we met back up again for dinner. I think we both knew this probably wouldn’t happen. While more signatures and pictures were being gathered, I slept in bed until 4PM. True story. CLEARLY I needed the sleep. The whole Sasha blindness (which only JUST happened) and thesis presentation plus the yucky cold really had drained me of all energy and motivation to MOVE. So I slept. And ya know what? It.was.AWESOME.

Around 4 something I did get up, we got ready and hopped the train to head into the city for some sure to be delicious seafood. Oh yes, City Crab, you were mine for the taking. Not having eaten for over 24 hours meant I was a starving beast so until I had food in my belly, I was kinda sluggish – but then the plate of King Crab legs appeared and the delirium began. Ya know, I’m a big eater, and I can usually pack it in, but that pound of (half pound?) of legs was TOO MUCH for me to handle…I forced my partner in crime to eat some of mine (after eating his own plateful) and thought I’d never eat again…until the dessert menu landed on my lap. OK, so I had enough room to take out the oreo cookie ice-cream pie. YUM. All in all, while the service left a LOT to be desired, the food was pretty darn good. Not the best I’ve ever had there, but I’m not gonna complain either.

We left there and met my girlie Lara Miller for some world series action and NYC Marathon chatter (she was running, I was gonna be cheering on the sidelines). We went to a place called Rogue…and DAMN, it was PACKED. Of course, it WAS Halloween, so I guess that made sense. The costumes were pretty sweet too…made me miss not really doing a Halloweenie thing this year. :/ WE only stuck around for a drink – I was getting knocked into left and right and kinda over it right quick. Besides, I wanted more sleep. Ha.

We arrived back at Penn Station with plenty of time to kill and guess what…I was hungry again. EEK. The picture below is of me scarfing down my SECOND Taco Bell bean taco after guzzling a gatorade and water. My my my, just call me piggy Devin why don’t cha! I think the photo is funny. “Yes, I’ll have my King Crab legs steamed with a Taco Bell taco chaser. Thanks”.

in mid bite with my 2nd taco...oink oink little piggie!

Sunday was a crazy day, I missed even getting TO the marathon cause we drove into the city. HA HA HA HA…silly Devin, do you know nothing? Traffic crawled and we missed Ms Miller, but she did a rock’n job, PRing with a 4:30 something. GO LARA!

Instead we met up with one of my high school besties Michelle B and her man. It was SOOOOOOO great to see her. I miss her so much. She’s my soul sista! And still as radiantly beautiful as ever. Shes also “in love” and man did it show. I don’t think I’ve seen her THAT happy in ages. Literally. Freaking awesome. So spending time with her was incredible, meeting her man was awesome too. It was a great end to a quick little weekend away in one of my favorite cities.

I’m bummed that on Friday when we drove into the city before checking into our hotel I couldn’t remember where the Ghostbusters Firehouse was. DAMN! I knew it was near the Tribecca Film building thingie, and I was sooooooo close to it, but I just couldn’t get my bearings straight (I blame the sleep deprivation again). That was a bummer. But we did go to ground zero.

Man. I’m kind impressed with myself, I really kept it together, but all I wanted to do was cry. Seriously…I can’t believe it’s been so many years since the attacks – yet it is something I think about almost every day. There is a new little place to go to where they show you what they’ll have at the memorial site. There was video, interviews, snippets of docs on the topic, survivors…the works. My heart is swelling up just thinking about what I got to see. There is an incredible collaborative piece they are putting together for the memorial. It looked like you went into this sound booth and for 3 minutes you recorded “where you were when it happened” and any thoughts that you wanted to share.

I SERIOUSLY considered doing it, but to be honest, I knew I’d choke up if I went in. I’d like to go back sometime soon…participate by adding my 3 minutes of the story – but if you are reading this, and you live in the city, I encourage you to go and participate in this installation piece. It’s right near the little Chapel by ground zero, pretty hard to miss.

Anyway…that was the real emotional part of the trip. I personally feel like it’s incredibly important we remember the events of that day, and honor all those that were lost by living OUR lives to the best of our ability. Spreading love, peace and happiness to those around us and the world.

It’s interesting now that I think about it, we started the trip with a stop at the site where hundreds of men and women, fire fighters and cops lost their lives. We ended the trip with Michelle and her beau Anthony who is a member of the NYPD. Very very cool. Bookends. The yin and the yang. Love it.

ANYWAY…that was that trip. It was followed by an extremely delayed flight back home (THANK YOU BAD FLYING KARMA THAT DOES NOT BELONG TO ME!!!) and goofiness in the car. I was thrilled to come back home and find my little baby finally willing to eat after not eating since the Wednesday morning before Halloween.

I’ll post an update on the kitty soon, but for now this post has gotten MORE than long enough. I think I’m gonna grab the little one and go watch another movie before calling it a night.

In the mean while, I hope this message finds all out there on the interweb happy and healthy. Looking forward to getting back to regular posting and also picking up the Fave Five again! THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME PEEPS!!!

Cheers and well wishes,
Devin

Posted in food, just 'cause, life, personal, vacation | 1 Comment »

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